Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You pole danced in your parka.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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