is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
