I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
