smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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