I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
