Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
