woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
