Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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