I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
