gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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