Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
