Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I cut my penus on the lid.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
