Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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