its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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