Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
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You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
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Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize