I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
