I smell stomach acid.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
false alarm. still invincible.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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