porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
