hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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