So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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