what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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