ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
