So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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