need another drink. this is the easiest way
i wish my penis had a tongue
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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