Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
