There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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