i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
