I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
