funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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