Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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