I think I am morally bankrupt
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
