Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We had to coat check the pizza.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
