okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
