No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize