I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
