The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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