so explain again why im purple
no
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
