I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
