At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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