I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
