i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize