i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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