She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
