weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize