Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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