So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
