Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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