After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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