Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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