im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
