i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
