She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I would fuck him just for his dog
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