how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize