Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
