Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize
