Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
