More tranny stories later!
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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