her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
