why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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