Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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