dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
