8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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