Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
