i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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